aj2x (aj2x) wrote,

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Oh, it's been a year!...

54 weeks since my last entry here! I've not forgotten LJ, but all sorts of things have happened.

The main one, is that my dad died a year ago tomorrow. It was not a pretty or graceful death (if any can be, outside of fiction) -- he'd been dying, and knew it well, for months. Shortly after Christmas 2007 he'd had to go back to the hospital, and when he returned to my sister's house in January, it was to die. That Christmas was the last time he was able to sit in a chair, or move on his own (painfully, slowly, with a walker). I went to see and care for him for several days in March, and he was mostly unable then to do much for himself, though he managed to keep his spirits up for at least a few hours a day. My sister and brother in law (saints!) said he fell into depression and prayed to die many times, but would put on a good face for visitors. In his last weeks he essentially stopped eating. He held onto life longer than even he wanted to.

I was in Las Vegas when the event occurred, at the National Association of Broadcasters convention. The not-unexpected news came through a borrowed cellphone while talking with a vendor of video-processing equipment. I spent another hour or so at the show and then went back to the hotel and prepared to return home and then down to South Carolina (where my sister lives). The forced gaiety of 'Vegas, which has been less and less interesting to me each time I visit, became all gray and pale that last night there. It is an interesting place, so I sorta hope I haven't lost all desire to revisit someday.

The intervening year without dad has been up and down. We've settled his estate, mostly, though there are still some bits and pieces that we don't know what to do with -- they'll rattle around in drawers and storage boxes for years, I bet. I miss him, though the moments of "oh, he's not around anymore" are fewer and fewer. Yesterday would have been my mom's 88th birthday, and my memories of her have long faded into the background. So it will no doubt be with dad -- life goes on.
Tags: dad, death, las vegas, nab
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